Hello fellow lovers of wisdom,
This week, we explore the benefits of humor to prep for thanksgiving.
As skillful facilitators, teachers, coaches, how might humor help us cultivate meaningful work? As family members, how can we sharpen our sense of humor?
We’ve got highlights from Anne Libera’s awesome article “The Science of Comedy (Sort of)” in the AMA Journal of Ethics (2020), Andrew Tarvin’s TEDx Talk, “The Skill of Humor,” and Stanford Theatre Professor Patricia Ryan Madsen’s brilliant book, Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up.
Special thanks to Karen Runge and Shashank Kansal for the quotes, and Susan Masters for the humor research. And thank you, dear readers. Glad you’re here!
On the Wisdom of Humor
“The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible.”
-Francis Weller
“Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.”
- Karl Barth
“Happiness is amazing. It’s so amazing, it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not.”
- Ricky Gervais
Turns out a sense of humor is associated with self-esteem, optimism, and life satisfaction, and with decreases in depression, anxiety, and stress. In other words,
humor is linked to getting happier.
New science shows humor’s ability to help us problem solve, deal with pain and live with chronic pain.
For teachers, coaches, and facilitators: humor encourages listening, improves our understanding, improves group cohesiveness, reduces conflict, builds trust, and brings people closer together. Not too shabby.
Here’s our weekly synthesis of what I found to put this into practice.
Three Ways to Sharpen Our Sense of Humor
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”
- Victor Borge
“God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”
-Henry Louis Mencken
Re-define humor as more than just “dad jokes.” Anne Libera: “You can share humor just by releasing tension and by recognizing awkwardness or discomfort without making any kind of formal joke . . . Laughter is inherently social.” We can be a shepherd of humor too, by the way we smile and extend loving-kindness. For Tarvin, humor is a way to “explore and heighten.” We can use humor to explore and heighten our experience of others and life itself. How? Use “Yes, and” in conversation and life.
Practice recognition and skillful self-disclosure. Libera recommends “a tiny bit of vulnerability related to sharing a piece of personal information” and the “recognition of common experiences.” This provides a safe way for us “to use the tools of comedy to make deeper connections with team members.” What’s true for you right now? Where’s your heart? Tarvin advises: “share your point of view.”
Play improv games. Invite opportunities to sharpen your sense of humor and laughter. Madsen instructs: Listen with all you’ve got. Be more generous than you need to be. Some games you might play: “How Many Uses” can we think of for a random object? Use the “Last Word” game, either with others, or discreetly, without others noticing. Like other skills, Tarvin emphasizes that we need to “perform, practice, and repeat” our sense of humor. Wish you had a greater sense of humor? Commit. “Fake it until you become it.”
My favorite take-away from all this?
A sense of humor is about listening. It’s receptive. You don’t need to create jokes; you don’t even “be funny.” You can be a shepherd of humor. Just smile and invite a smile in kind. Practice loving-kindness and look for the levity.
Also, I hope it goes without saying, but make your humor caring. Keep it good. Avoid inappropriate jokes - that have either an inappropriate subject matter, inappropriate target, or are for an inappropriate reason.
Humor should uplift and inspire. Humor can be a gateway to gratitude. Or creative Venn Diagrams.
As always, wishing you a wonderfully wise Wednesday,
Sean
P.S. at the Wisdom Workshop, we’re on a mission to provide opportunities for people to cultivate practical wisdom together. If you want to support our work, you can join the waitlist for our early 2024 Writing Wisdom Workshop and/or Art of Living Beautifully cohorts. Or feel free to schedule a 15-minute meeting if you’re curious.
“Among those who I like, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can. All of them make me laugh.”
- W.H. Auden